


Hello November

by Wonheonie



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Autumn, Car Accidents, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 15:15:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonheonie/pseuds/Wonheonie





	Hello November

Hello November, it’s me, Kihyun. Same time, same place, same ache in my chest over everything that you are, everything that you took from me. I want to hate you, I try to hate you and every year I fail. Because how could I hate you when all of my favorite memories of them are wrapped up in your cool brisk air? They came alive when you appeared, crunchy leaves, warm drinks, light morning rain, in tow. We spent countless moments snuggled by the fire, reading, listening to music, playing with Muffin, and taking drives up the mountain side so they could see your autumn leaves descend from the tops of the tallest trees. 

It was during one of those drives, on a day just like today, fog and rain, and everything they loved about you, that they were taken from me. We drove to the top of the hillside, and they basked in your wind and rain and falling leaves, while I basked in them. We sat atop the hill on “our” bench as we did so many times and so many years before that. They packed a thermos of tea and our favorite snacks, but the warmth I felt in my chest for them was warmer than any tea could’ve been. That warmth was now taken over by a dull never ending ache that sits like a stone on my sternum and gets heavier whenever you come back around. 

That perfect afternoon was ruined by your slick roads as I drove my sweet and I back into the city to our home. It was a split second, one moment I was watching them slowly doze off and the next we were sliding around a corner in the rain, the fallen leaves not providing any traction on the wet blacktop. We slid into and over the top of the guardrail and down the side of the mountain. I’ll never forget the look of fear and panic in their eyes, or the sounds of them taking their last breath as I begged them to just hold on and stay with me. 

It’s been two years and I still go for those drives, I still listen to our old records and cuddle with Muffin, and I still bask in the aroma of their favorite tea as it wafts through the apartment. It’s been two years and I still feel the pain of their loss like it was yesterday. I still want to hate you, I still try to hate you, but deep down it’s me that I really hate. It’s me who lived while they were taken from this world. It’s me who was driving the car that ended their life. And it should have been me, instead of them. So hello November, it’s me Kihyun, and I’m asking you to please take me too.


End file.
